Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
either way he was missing a nipple.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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