physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
