can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
