Swine flu. Run for my life!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
and she was petting her beer can
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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