I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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