Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
