No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
