I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I love having hate sex.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
