is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
