Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
