If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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