Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
