They should really pass out barf bags in church
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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