My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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