just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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