So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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