her vagine was all disorganized.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
