Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
barbara walters just said penis...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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