Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
