I feel like abortions should bother me more
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i out mim tonsoeep
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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