Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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