I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
