Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
