that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
