He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
