Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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