He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
