I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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