Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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