I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
