i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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