I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have aggressive nipples.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
