i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
