Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
