Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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