"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
