So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
