Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
