So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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