He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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