I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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