I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
