Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
