Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
