Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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