we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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