Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
