I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
