I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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