grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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