Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
